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July 20th 2008  Affliction was a great card as advertised, the early fights didn't provide much bang for the buck but, the last three fights were fucking great. The fight of the night was watching my favorite heavyweight of all time Andrei Arlovski turn Ben Rothwell's face into pure hamburger. He was a bloody mess and had my drunk ass excited due to it's been way too long a wait to see this guy kick somebodies ass like he used to. Fedor is still the king of the heavyweights, he made an asswipe of Tim Sylvia and even if Randy Couture wins his case against UFC and fights Emelianenko, he will be stomped into a pulp.. July 13th 2008 I'm such a marshmellow tub of shit, I am out of shape... That fucking Eddie got me inspired to join a gym and it's a dump, the owner hasn't spent ten dollars in that place for some time.. She is fucking hot to look upon, six foot blondes that are all legs have always been a weakness, I still lust over the last one I encountered who was crazy enough to let me fuck her... I got hammered the night before so I went to this place and sweated out the booze, now I got the shakes from a combination of alcohol and just being pathetic. I guess this is phase two of my resolution to enjoy life if that is possible, truly the experience has been positive, I've been inspired to write, to excercise, to begin drinking again which I missed. I'm not angry which I think people like me better when angry, I'm sure a women will cross my path and send me back down to hell, which I find charming in small stints, just not several months. I'm the fucking good guy, people just don't like it. I need a red head female with freckles around her bush, I need to smoke my fucking pipe again, I need to quit eating nachos when I drink, I hate throwing them up at 6am in the morning.. Maybe I am in denail.. June 29th 2008 I'm beginning to regain interest in my old writings and I think I'm about to put the whole lot into a book. I have to add new characters to the original three of Seabass, Ronnie and Dr Pickles. I am taking them from an old project I never finished, using two of the characters from that scenario and adding them to my Institute patients.. Nick I hope to add a few short chapters and put it together before summer ends. June 28th 2008 What another retarded moment in my life.. You plan a work get together with the fellows and it ends up a ridiculous experiment. You invite several of them and two of us show up, the friend of mine uses this as a chance to stray from his wife. I have no idea if this guy plans on getting his dick wet but, inviting two women to drink with us so they can go cock fencing is an odd approach.. I don't even understand why these type of bitches exist? They know the guy is married, they both have divorces that are pending due to they can't find the deadbeat husbands. All I know is I end up alone with the second place chick who is actually pretty cool and we are hammering shots. The panty hound friend had only a five hour window to inflict his debauchery before having to go home to the wife, he didn't get laid by either of the two chicks and the one he was heavy studying had more fucking issues than she needed, she was a fucking basket case on wheels that should have had a bottle of pills named after her. It's still a little daylight left in the experience and both me and this chick had to be at work that morning, we get more beers and end up on the top of this fucking mountain in Polk County of all places, walking to some nature site that she had planned to fuck the married guy on. It had some waterfall that pooled out into this small pond and we end up skinny dipping as the sun goes down. I was in a horny ass mood but I did realize that this wasn't the best situation to be in but, she was bragging that she could get us out of there, she knew these trails in her sleep. It's pitch black now in the woods, we are both hammered and can't see a foot in front of us, I'm falling over every fucking root and twig and lost my belt, my fucking pants slipping down to my ankles due to I have lost so much damn weight over the last few months so I'm tripping over my pants too. I just wanted to lay down until the sun come back up and exit the woods, Friday the 13th style as the lone survivor. She's bitching saying she can't lay out of work tomorrow because she has so many write ups that she could lose her job. She on her hands and knees pounding on the earth trying to determine if this is a trail or just a pile of straw, I am beat to near shit from limbs, rocks, and every other fucking annoyance you can have when you are in a pass out mode but not allowed to go to sleep, she was determined to get out of the woods no fucking matter how hard I tried to convince her to quit trying to kill us by leading us around in the fucking night. I knew we had to cross a fucking creek and somehow this crazy bitch finds the trail and when we cross this creek it just sucks ass. It's appalachian country, the creek is full of fucking rocks and wet moss and it's a wonder I didn't break my damn neck. I hear a splash up above so my guide has just wiped out on a rock and fell into the thing, I'm taking baby steps while holding my pants up expecting the worse, I had to crawl up the bank and was thankfull I wasn't three hundred pounds anymore or I would still be in that river. We search forever to find the fucking gravel road that led us to the creek when we began, I just want to lay my ass down on the earth and sleep and she is yelling loudly.. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, oh here it is.... Tramp, Tramp, fall ,fall of fuck, fuck, fuck, oh here it is. Oddly we would stop and make out a little and I will admit that I would have stopped at any moment and fucked this chick's brains out in the night no matter if a bear was sniffing near by. The moonlight finally peered in and I could look at the trees up above, it helped make out the road due to the clearing was in a straight line, we began to feel gravel underneath and I began dragging this bitch by the hand instead of the other way around. I followed that line and kept kicking gravel and other odd shit until we found this van of hers parked outside a metal gate that we walked into and knocked the piss out of us. I crawl under it and then I hear a thud, she fell into the fucking ditch beside the van so I had to start feeling in the dark to pull her out. The clock on her dash said about 2am, I had to be at work at 6.. We had been lost in the dark since dusk so you get the fucking picture, this is how booze and a hard-on has led to many a arrogant man's demise. We drive out of that fucking park, she's bragging about how great she is for getting us out, I reminded her that she got us in much fucking easier, we pass by her house on the way and her boyfriend is asleep in her place so we drive by to the bar where the shit went downhill to begin with, departed while she wore my shirt home on her back to her lovestruck boyfriend who previously that week she told to get out. I get home, creek water in my shoes, beaten, bruised, scratched, my fucking pants brown from smashed leaves and dirt, spitting out dry leaves and in the bed I go for a two hour nap and eight hours of work around the corner. I masturbate, set the clock and it rings very shortly after I close my eyes. I stagger into work holding my pants up, cut a piece of twine to tie around it so my ass don't hang out at work all day, looking like a fucking hillbilly that deserved to be shot in the back of the head. The boss is there and he is in one of those talking moods, he has me and the pantyhound tied up who was far more hungover than me, relishing his younger days of youth while pantyhound was talking about the fight with his wife that evening. I'm just quiet and mangled on the knees, hands and elbows thinking these two dumbasses have it made. I struggle through work, booze seeping out the pores, it's in the 90's and I'm working outside, the drunk chick comes in all beat up like me and of course tells the pantyhound about our encounter. He's busting my fucking balls all day, the others laughing at me as well and quite frankly I'm fucking laughing too describing out the whole event like the idiot that I am. The fucking boss just wants to talk, he takes us to breakfast and I'm trying not to belch the booze. He's eating five pounds of fucking bacon and I'm choking down fruit because my stomach is doing cartwheels. I check my bank account online just now and it cost me nearly a hundred dollars in spirits to get lost in the fucking woods with this half naked dingy woman hoping not to die. Another chapter of a pathetic man... I bet five dollars that the pantyhound fucks her next week and I don't get shit but a story and a fucking healing bruise. I gave her my phone number, nobody deserves a courtesy pop more than me right now... June 23rd 2008 It sucks that George Carlin passed away, he was one the few comedians who kept getting funnier as he got older, there just isn't any worth a shit comedians anymore, especially white ones who squeeze out a sorry ass act to get sitcom deal down the road about his disfunctional family. That shit doesn't get old does it? I guess it doesn't matter anyway, I haven't watched the fucking television in months.. I will say I got an email from somebody I never thought I would hear from again, it fucking knocked the wind out of me. Maybe you can fix shit from your past as I sent back a reply wishing her well, it was a pleasant surprise since I had to mail out some back taxes to my old state for my dreaded fuckover from my last employer from 2004.. I'm kind of pissed but, it isn't going to get me too overboard. I would love to have that three thousand back but I chalk it up as a learning experience I guess, whatever you do never work for somebody under the table, you will get it stuck to you.. June 22nd 2008 At work everybody is eating fucking almonds. Most of them women who all say the same things, it helps with digestion and my health. This of course while they are smoking cigarettes and eating like cattle including the almonds. I have no issue with this except it makes me wonder about this whole colon cleansing shit.. I'm reading this ridiculous story from some football player talking about his colon cleansing, while some dork reporter is sniffing his jock for a parasitic story to bore the shit out of me a few weeks later as I surf the web.. I applied further research to this and entered it into yahoo and this site comes up and when you click it something that looks like it washed up onto a beach is hanging off a stick. It is sworn testimony that this object was shitted out when a customer bought this amazing product and immediatley felt better. If I shit a dead squid out I would feel much better also. The fact is they desire you to click the pics of fecal poisons on the page. I was reading this testimonial and it was a month long ordeal of various things this person vacated out of thier bowels, they took snapshots and put it on the site but after looking at them I noticed that the toilets were public restrooms. I am curious as to why all these testimonials have long pieces of stringy objects of green and brown stretched out on the public commode and pictures taken of it. If you had four weeks of these type of shits, how would you be living to begin with? It's almost worth the eighty bucks to see what I would excrete but one thing I am aware of is nobody likes to shit in public places, and let's face it, the site overexaggerates to the extreme making only the paranoid and retarded buy the product. I am curious as to if this works. I'm just wondering what the ingredients are and why you have to take supplements afterwards.. Sounds like bullshit to me and that is what exactly it is. It makes me so angry that some fucking nutbags put a three foot piece of rubber and, declare such a statement as this is where death begins. If somebody shit that out your asshole would feel like a train drove through it, so fuck this site and every two bit moron who gets eighty dollars lifted out their wallets for being such a fucking dumbass.. June 20th 2008 I think I've laid dormant enough, I had thoughts about shitcanning this site for good but let the toons stay on for every slinking pervert, who either has an awful creature laying in the bed beside them, or is so utterly repulsed with themself and reduces reason by jacking off to ease any agonizing reminders of how pathetic he or she is.. I am partial to pathetic women, personally I love them dearly. Or you just enjoy the toons, who am I to judge... I'm sitting here around October 2007, a fat angry blob of hate nesting in a recliner watching something on the television. I worked nights and believed to be quite secure about things so they changed my shift to early mornings. Usually I'm quite a pissy fuck in the morning but for some reason it just ended. I've run a full eight months of nuetrality towards everything, if I was a female I would diagnose it as simply menopause... I altered everything I ate, and began eating like a nature loving hippy queer, high fiber and sunshine shit in a box that has convinced me that the vilest rancor a person can harbor isn't in the mind, it's in the bowels.. I even gave up writing which always calmed me, so I began typing a story I had in my brain since my late 20's, and it ended up a novel so i self published and, sent it out to some friends who maybe wouldn't hurt my feelings too bad when they tell me it sucks. I'm writing a second book, a conclusion to the first one and then who nows. I'm even drinking again which angers me that I quit, since that has always helped, because I'm happier with a buzz. Now a nice piece of pussy will undermine the whole damn thing, especially the train wreck chicks I get attracted to. I like twisted unresponsible women who smoke during sex and don't mind asking for an ashtray while I'm about to get my nut off. A real insensitive cunt who after she mentally siphons every ounce of wholesome hope you feel this world once offered, leaves you an apathetic corpse for another victim. Gets me hard just thinking about it... So at this time I'm attempting to put this site back to some use for me, click fuck toon link if you are in need of severe demon tentacle and decapitation anal sex. I wouldn't want to be a bastard and deprive anyone of that. Have a nice day, and fuck you folks........ Dar Seabastard.. Oddly after talking to someone last evening I think I have come to the terms that nothing will ever be easy in my life. I spend a lot of it on the outside looking in. It's not terrible in the least and not filled with dread like past encounters. I've always seen disaster coming but kindly waited them out for some strange reason. I've took it on the chin many a time grasping onto to wishful thinking, when you boil it all down we are quick to take the fool's road when love could be involved. If you are lucky to encounter one person who's mere presence can make the confusion tolerable, I imagine you begin to start protecting every thought, every word until you build a sanctuary around it. Like I said it is never easy, I spend most of my time waiting for circumstances to evolve. Circumstances that are as vague as this post. The bottom line is the scene inside has finally seen the face looking inward all these years and in time may even open the door for me to come inside and stay... The new workplace isn't bad, the new place is still fun and it seems like I have nothing to bitch about. It's Memorial Day, so mental note. Waiting for collapse. I hate people who look over and then whisper to their friends. It's usually some girl, a very unattractive one at that. You give them an axe murdering stare and, they keep whispering. Fucking bitch... I was trying to imagine my 20's and I have no idea what was going through my mind except when the next encounter with a beer can was. It's odd how you twist yourself in petty pursuits of escaping being rational. You want to get perverted, illiterate and brave. Odd fascinations of urinating on private property and sleeping underneath various pieces of furniture made my evening. I would awake in a room of strangers in houses I had no idea in arriving at. The bad thing is when these new strange people are talking to you as if they knew you all their lives. You try and mutter a few words and they laugh and smile. In some time that prior evening you gave them something to embrace, even though you have no fucking clue who they are. They invite you back, show you a glimpse into their worlds in hopes of instilling a friendship with you, just for the fact that you were spitting insane drunken ramblings on some embarrassing moment of your life, that luckily you were too drunk to remember. Can't remember a name, just a face and the event itself that led to this psuedo friendship. Getting in a fist fight with their ironing board was what I was told. You awaken amongst a prism of grass stains, briars and on frightening occasions with an odd taste of body secretions in your mouth. At least that is what the rumor was. And in finality you can't place if the timeperiod is a high or a lowpoint. It gets muddled in hindsight and in some small thoughts missed...
Retiring that last page has made my
day. Utter garbage an mean intentions. I can't say anything nice these
days. I'm wretched. |
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