It Spins on a Dime
	“I don’t know.”      “What is it? I thought this is what you wanted?”      “Let me think.”      “Think about what? Damn, you give me a load of shit, saying we need to move further in our relationship. Now what!”      “This is sudden, I was thinking about living together.”      “I don't go in just half assed, Y'know, fuck this! I buy this ring, excited in giving it to you today and you start this backtracking. I can't please you, so fuck it, I'll take the damn thing back!”      I hear her call out to me as I slam the door, rattling the screen. Maybe I was grandstanding and blowing this out of proportion, but she has been ragging my fucking ass with this commitment shit for weeks. Fucking ditzy ass women and their unreliability. I need a drink very badly.      I pull in this dive and walk in. It's nasty and full of hicks. I just sit and order a bourbon and coke, stew in my overreaction. Maybe if I cool down a little I will call her, apologize like all men do.      “Fucking god damned women, if they didn't have a slit between their legs, we would have killed them all years ago!” some old crusty bastard at the bar shouts out of the blue, catching everyone off guard. People are laughing all around at him. He looks like hell. Behind him, this haggard woman walks to his shoulder, leans down, and kisses him on the cheek.      “Get the fuck away from me, you nasty pissy cunt!" he tells her. She just wraps her arms around him like it was foreplay and sits beside him.      “You want another one hun?” the chick behind the bar asks.      “Yes!” was the unanimous answer as around five or six people in my general area yell out. I just nod and she begins giving the group their drinks. She doesn't have a bad looking ass, I thought. I notice she has a tattoo on her lower back, and I smile at her as she gives me my drink. She doesn't notice me due to one of her many customers dropping a quarter in the tip jar. She looks at him and gently replies, " Fuck you."      The waitress is giving me my third drink when a fight breaks out at the pool table. Seems some burly biker looking fucker has this pipsqueak up against the wall for staring at his wife's ass for too long as she was lining up her shot. The bouncer is trying to calm this guy down, fearing that at any time this big bastard may turn around and grab him. The others are looking at his wife's ass, seeing if it was worth getting their ass kicked for.      “I told ya.”  Those fucking women will get you killed over nothing. Just look at her ass, you would have to saw it off to remove those pants she's wearing! If you ain't selling then don't advertise!" the crusty bastard remarks.      The haggard woman just tells him to hush up and smiles to herself. “Fuck you.  I’ll hush when I feel like it. You hear me!” He then downs his drink in a single gulp, licks his lips, and looks over at the haggard woman.      “You old heifer!” he barks at her while she just clings on his arm tight.      “You want another one, hun?" the chick behind the bar asks.      I must be on my fifth or sixth. Hell, I don't know anymore. I'm not much of a drinker and I feel drunk. Too drunk to stop what I set out to do here. I keep ordering as the music gets louder and the customer's mouths get filthier. My face is warm from the liquor as strangers pat me on the back. Rounds are bought for their new friend, whoever that fucker is. In mere seconds, I have this shot of sour mash in front of me.      “Drink!” is all I hear, encircling me until all that is left is to bang the empty shot glass on the bar.      This chick I can't even make out is kissing me on the neck, as more drinks come my way.      “Drink!” like a forked tongue command that weakens my problems, I bang the shot glass on the bar, missing it by several inches. A parade of laughs follows as my ass is on the floor. I can't make up or down, crawling, grabbing bar stools that collapse under my weight, sending me back onto the floor. I feel a pair of hands pull me up, pull me close as I feel a woman's lips on my neck and ears. I mumble out a few incoherent words and feel as if I'm being dragged out in the cool night air.      “Where's your keys?” is all I hear over and over again, from this mysterious woman's voice. She pulls them out of my pocket, as the ring I bought falls out onto the ground.      “Oh me. Looks like you had a rough day. Let me take you home. Where's your car?" she says.      I just point in a general direction, as she props me onto the vehicle. I hear her open the door and run back over quickly as I begin to slide down from my unbalanced slouching. She grabs me in time and sticks me inside the car. I can hear the radio in the background as the tires gently hum a peaceful sound. I feel like passing out and sleeping this shit off. “Why the fuck am I doing this?” bounces along the walls of my conscious mind.      A dream startles me and I look around. The sun is hitting me square in the face, a pain soon follows as I reach around feeling for my cigarettes. Everything I reach for, a mystery as it finally dawns on me. I am not in my home.      I look around and see this strange woman lying next to me. She is nude and begins snoring loudly as I notice a front tooth is widely missing. I feel around the end of my dick and horror hits me square. I put my fingers to my nose and realize that I fucked this broad. I see my clothes stacked in a nearby chair as I move gently out of the bed. I cannot have this bitch waking up on me and begin the pillow talk. In the condition I'm in, I would likely vomit on myself before running out the door. I tip toe and grab my clothes, putting them on quietly as I notice the ring I bought earlier is resting in my front pocket. I have no time to begin raising hell at myself. I find my keys and walk to her front door. As my feet hit her sidewalk, I well up in fear and I begin walking really fast, cranking my car, refusing to look up and turn my head quickly to back out. I do, shift into drive and floor it, glancing barely at that shit hole, anger piling up on top of anger. I just let loose with a barrage of swears.      I drive around this subdivision lost, looking for an exit. Onto a road very unfamiliar, I speed along, taking lefts and rights until finally I see a landmark I'm familiar with. I am on the course for home, wrestling internally within as to how I was going to deal with it. I was a hypocrite and the fact was, she never could deal with the truth if I told her. I knew I was going to have to be the prick, and salvage my relationship and bury this moment in time behind me.      I pull in my driveway and feel sanctuary inside. I grab a pastry, eat it and check my messages. I have four on my machine. The first was her, telling me to call her. “Please don't ignore this. I need to talk to you. I need to. Please, I need to"      The second was a friend of mine. “Hey dude, were you shit faced at that damn bar? I could have sworn you were laying face down. Man you had this skank on your arm. Don't worry bro, I won't tell.” I hit delete quickly, cursing that little cocksucker.      The third was mom, "Son, your girlfriend called and she is upset. You better call her cause I can't handle her cry--” I delete this one also, “Bitch,” muttered as I go along.      The fourth is her again, “Don't do this, I need you to call. I'm worried, please call me.  We have to talk.” I look at the clock and it is eleven in the morning. I decide to call her and she is relieved. In my guilt, I agree to meet her for dinner at the local steakhouse. Over dinner I had plans to ease up on her, let her breathe while I play it cool and regroup our relationship. After the little I love you babies and smooches on the phone, I figure I could swing in a five-hour nap and shower before meeting her for dinner. I had no time to lose.  I felt like shit. I make it in time, all going to plan. She is happy and the hostess seats us. She begins wiping the tears from her eyes then speaks. “Yes, I'll marry you!” She starts breaking out in tears as that whole concept of backing off and letting her breathe a little deflates and blows out the window.      I just reach in my pocket, glad that I remembered to bring the ring. I slip it on her finger, excited over the turn of events that has just happened. I notice two glasses of water get set upon the table from our waitress.      “Can I take your order?” the waitress asks.      “Yes, ma’am," I reply, , happy. I am so preoccupied that I look up and when I do I nearly hemorrhage out of my damn eyes. That waitress is the girl I fucked last night. What the fuck! Can you fucking believe it!      My girlfriend gives her order as I sit there speechless. “And what would you like, sir?"      I just looked all bewildered, “Um- whatever she's having.” “Okay, I'll be back with your drinks and it will be about twenty minutes on the food." My girlfriend goes to the bathroom. The waitress never made a face. Maybe she was as drunk as me and couldn't remember my face. Please be that, I need a break, dammit!      The waitress brings back the drinks. She sets them down and looks at me. “You left in an awful hurry. By the looks of her, I guess I was used to blow off a little steam. I would have never expected that the way you fucked me last night, baby.”      She walks off as the girlfriend is coming out of the bathroom. I just sit there expecting the worse. I think about dragging her by the arm, getting the fuck out of here. I have been with her for three years.  I didn't want to lose her over this toothless mistake. I also have been with her enough to know that I would only get in an argument with her if I did try to leave. I have to play this out, hope this bitch has some shred of decency about her. Hope that she keeps her big mouth shut.      She brings the food and brushes me along the shoulder on her way back. It was obvious to my girlfriend and she begins giving me an attitude. “Did you flirt with her when I was in the bathroom?”      “Hell no!” I say.      The waitress comes back, refilling our glasses, smiling, calling me shug, fucking with me as time seems to crawl and my girlfriend can't eat fast enough. This is a nightmare. She brings the check, puts her hand on my shoulder and leans beside me, placing it on the table. Her breasts real close to my face, and the girlfriend is about pissed enough to say something. I just lean over to her, kiss her slowly in front of this bitch. I keep locked onto her lips passionately until this pain in the ass waitress decides to walk away. The girlfriend is taken aback as I grab the check, and whisper in her ear. “C'mon sweety, let's pay this and go back to your place. I'm gonna fuck your brains out.”      My ploy to get her horny and get her out of here works. She grabs her shit and walks fast to the door. I can feel that waitress peering at me as I exit quickly to the foyer and pay our tab. The girlfriend is filling out a compliant card on this cunt waitress as I quickly pay. I notice the bitch walking toward us and I grab the complaint card and stuff it in the fucking box. “Let's go, baby!”      I drag her out and into my car. Kiss her again to keep her confused as to what is going on, crank the car, and get the fuck out of that place in a hurry. “Damn honey, slow down a little," the girlfriend smirks. Her head is in the clouds and at the moment my ass is saved.      We enter her apartment, arms flailing about, undressing and walking to her bedroom. I get her down and start fucking her wildly. The adrenaline of the evening has me in a frenzy. She gets caught in the moment and rolls me over, holding my hands down. It was the best fuck I ever had and how fast did life turn for me in a mere twenty-four hours. I felt as if I owned the whole world.      Over the week, we would talk, plan on the date for our marriage. It was four days since the bar incident.  I was calm and in control. I just hang up with her now and take a piss. It fucking burns like fire, and I notice a yellow discharge in my underwear. “Oh shit, oh shit,”  is all I can say. “Oh shit!”      I make an appointment with my doctor.  He doesn't mince words with me. “It's gonorrhea. I will have to give you a shot of antibiotics, and you need to tell your sexual partner immediately so they can be treated.”      This fuck up deserved a crown. I had no options left. I had to circle the wagons and take a beating. I could only hope that she would understand and I tried to think of all the angles I could use. I knew of none, fear pounding me from within as I go to her apartment.      She hugs me so excited. I guess she hasn't noticed any symptoms. I take a breath and began explaining. Dialogue mixed with uneasiness, I couldn't even look her in the eye. I told her I was drunk, I was stupid, and taken advantage of.      She's crying her eyes out as I tell her she needs to go to the doctor to be treated. “Who is it, just who?” she asks.      "That waitress honey. I didn't even know who she was the whole evening until I woke up beside her that morning. I am so sorry."      “You fucking played me. You knew and you fucking played me!" she screams in tears as I look at the lines running through the tiles in the floor, ashamed.      “You got me thinking of how much you loved me to get me out of there, then you fuck me and I thought is was all about us. That night was the happiest night of my life. You fucking disgust me, you motherfucker." She throws down the ring in a cliche that is still effective in my little mind. I see it roll across the floor as I turn to walk out the door.      I have never seen her this upset before. I ruined this beyond repair. I can hear her slam a glass, shattering it against a wall. I can hear her pick up the ring and throw it at me, hitting me in the back. “Take it, you bastard!” Her heartbreak weakens her to the floor, sitting, quivering as I am beyond helping her. I am only pain to her. I can't look at the ring on the floor as I open the door.      You notice things at these moments you have never seen before. An epiphany of sorts, that lets you see a little bit into the future.      My future was going to be knowing that I had my arms entrenched in eternal bliss for a period in my life and spending the rest of it wandering aimlessly in hopes of finding it again.